AAEVS - Putting Together a Christ-centered Community (Part 7)

(Brace yourselves for a long read!)

Accountability of Sinful Nature/Spiritual Warfare/Nouthetic Counseling

This is very important as it is the main focus of the paragraph. The paragraph states that our elders wish us to "display God’s love to one another through encouragement, accountability, exhortation and discipline." (EVS Paragraph 2b) Thus, it is necessary that I use this whole post to give a big picture analysis of what this would look like.

What does it look like for church members to accountable to one another? Alan Medinger, a biblical counselor gives a lengthy, tough description of an accountability relationship:

An accountability relationship is one in which a Christian gives permission to another believer to look into his life for purposes of questioning, challenging, admonishing, advising, encouraging, and otherwise providing input in ways that will help the individual live according to the Christian principles that they both hold. (As quoted in Not Even A Hint, Page 136) 

Why should we be accountable to each other? God commands it for our good. (1 Corinthians 10:12; Hebrews 3:12-14; Hebrews 10:24-25) Because we have a natural descent into sin, we can listen to our pessimistic, self-centered selves for so long that we become hardened to the comforting and admonishing word of God. Spiritual autonomy is not God's plan for His children. He has placed us in a network of accountability partners ranging from fellow members to parents to elders and other leaders to sister churches.

Also, wisdom demands it. (Proverbs 1:5, 9:8, 10:17, 12:1, 15, 15:10, 22, 31-32) All of us like correction and rebuke when it is administered to others, but not when it is administered to us. Giving permission to another believer to look into your life and desires requires a commitment to wholeheartedly pursue Christ and forsake idolatry; and that requires conviction.

So how should accountability relationships (ARs) operate in the church? First, ARs - as all relationships - need to be established on trust. People who have a tendency to gossip and slander should not be trusted with your struggles. (Proverbs 11:13, 2 Corinthians 12:20)

Second, the listener must not be arrogant. It's hard to listen and lovingly exhort someone if we wonder how they as intelligent, well-intentioned Christians could stoop down to believe and/or do such stupidity. (Galatians 6)

Third, ARs need to avoid what Joshua Harris calls the common mistakes such as:

General confession

Giving a vague category of sin that does not help the counselor(s) to give effective, wise advice for his or her situation.

Confusing confession with repentance

"When you share your sin with others or listen to others confess sin, it's important to talk about what repentance looks like. Here are some helpful questions to ask:

• Do I view this sin as an act of rebellion against God?
• Is there true sorrow over my sin or do I merely dislike the consequences?
• Am I cultivating a hatred for this sin?
• What further action do I need to take?
• What will I do the next time I'm tempted this way?
• What preemptive actions can I take to avoid this sin next time?
• What activities or thought patterns do I need to turn from?" (Page 142)

Offering sympathy but no challenge

Displaying sympathy (which is great) but leaving the sins of the confessor(s) to thrive and infest under the comfort of the counselor(s).

Confession with no follow-up

Confession was offered and the confessor never was confronted again to see if he or she had been striving to repent. Or the counselor(s) did confront the confessor and he or she refused to be accountable for his or her sin.

Gospel amnesia

Confession and confrontation of sin is not balanced with realization and rejoicing of grace. The gospel is sadly neglected and the confessor is left to think that it is up to him or her to repent from sin.

In conclusion, ARs need to point to Christ as the sole Savior and Treasure of our lives.

Now concerning Nouthetic Counseling, "Nouthetic" comes from the Greek word "to admonish." By putting this word with counseling, we use it to refer to counseling with a biblical perspective. "But isn't this the responsibility of the pastor? Why should we as members dabble in this?" Here's what Paul said by the Holy Spirit in Romans 15:14, "And I myself also am persuaded of you, my brethren, that ye also are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge, able also to admonish one another."

He directs this not only at the pastors but the church as a whole. So must members be immersed in Nouthetic Counseling like the elders? No, to illustrate a point using education, the elders should have a Master's degree while members should have something like an Associate's or Bachelor's degree. Therefore we all must have some level of insight on how to counsel fellow believers.

What basic principles should we as counselors have?

The first thing is to get a biblical worldview. Learn to see everything through the lens of Scripture: God, Jesus, Mankind, Salvation, the Universe, etc. Then, look into the nature of the heart, the power of the written word of God, and the dual natures of a born-again believer.

Secondly, believe 2 Timothy 3:16-17 sincerely, particularly the fact that the Scriptures are sufficient to give the counselee what he or she needs.

Third, since Jesus said that good and evil begins in the heart, (Matthew 5:28; 12:34-35; 15:18-19; 18:35) our counseling must be heart-centered not behavior-centered or situation-centered. The goal is to bring their heart to treasure Christ and His Kingdom (Matthew 6:20-21, 33; Colossians 3:1-5.)

Fourth, become extremely familiar with wisdom literature especially Psalms, Proverbs and Ecclesiastes; learn how to apply them in this day and age (of course don't neglect the applicability of the other scriptures.)

Fifth, expect believers to be conflicted between two desires. (Galatians 5:17) A tug of war rests between our sinful nature and our Spirit-filled nature. Sadly, our counseling seems to assume that the believer is totally one-minded in his or her struggle. This approach leads the counselee to emphasize only the role of the spiritual nature and leave the lies of the sinful nature with no scrutiny.

It is important to note to the counselee that there is an old you and a new you. The old you desires to please itself in idolatry and sin. The new you wants to please God and please itself in God. Thus the counselor must convince the believer that his old nature is lying to him and is settling for lesser pleasures instead of God who at His right hand there are pleasures for evermore. (Psalm 16:11) 

Sixth, be acquainted with the Puritans. Not the Puritans of the New England Experiment but the original Puritans.

If you want the attributes of Nouthetic Counselors, John Piper has a list of important attributes of Nouthetic Counselors here.

Because of how long this post is, I will not go into spiritual warfare. If you are interested, here is a link of articles on the subject.

I don't know how to get us to this biblical system. I know it's going to take courage and love to pursue it. It does seem boring as it is dealing with our personal, broken lives but this is in the context of God working His Kingdom into the world and transforming it to His awesome glory.

References:

Harris, Joshua "Not Even A Hint"