My Testimony

My (Luke's) Testimony

I grew up in a middle-class home in North-eastern Alabama. We were moderately conservative and were members of one of the most conservative Christian orders in the world, the Primitive Baptists. 

  

As the Book of Romans states, I had an inclination that God had revealed Himself in the fact that events happen outside of my control and that people had needs and wants competing with mine. This aroused in me hatred towards God and those who bear His image.

I “suppressed the truth in unrighteousness” by investing in idols such as video games, Saturday morning cartoons, comfort, and security for satisfaction. I hated Christ for inconveniently forcing me away from my idols and into His sanctuary; the worship service was repulsive to my flesh so I mostly drew or played during the service. I hated people and wanted nothing to do with them; my dream was to live by myself in my own house and entertain myself all the time and be away from everyone else.

It appears that in some instances, my hatred was cold which left me open to spiritual things. I was interested in what heaven is like and who the “heavenly Mother” is. I remember asking my Mom if there might be video games and TV in heaven (obviously I didn’t want to get rid of my idols and thought the eternal presence of Christ lacking.) I remember my eldest brother reading to me the story of Jesus calming the storms. I remember being disturbed at the fact of Jesus would destroy me eternally if I didn’t follow Him. However, despite all of this, I continued to ignore Christ in my idolatry and didn’t want to submit myself to His ordinances.

(I’m writing this now, of course, from a biblical perspective. If you asked me back then if “I had an inclination that God had revealed Himself,” I probably would have said no. I would have denied that I was an idolater. I would have said that my anger was directed at circumstances, not at God. But behind the facade, this just was not so.) 

But God, despite my sinful idolatry and stubbornness, was drawing me to Himself by His grace. Just as my birthday in 2007 was coming up, I actually had a desire to sing with the congregation even though beforehand I had regarded it as boring and dry. I began reading the Bible by myself I believe for the first time.

Then in early 2008, Elder Philip Dukes preached a sermon on Acts 9 concerning the baptism of Paul, illustrating the importance of baptism. I was convinced that I needed to be baptized. My conversion, to use my metaphor that I had back then, was a pot that needed a lid. However the Lord knew that my view of Christ of that time was not orthodox in that I viewed Jesus as a lesser half-deity than God the Father. So in His providence, He sent an attractive young lady to steal my attention away from baptism and thus save me from making a false profession of faith at that season.

Also, the Baptist Bible Hour introduced Answers in Genesis to us. In I believe July, our family bought a couple of books from AiG; one of them was the New Answers Book. In I believe the chapter on death and suffering, God revealed to me the deity of Christ. The Creator of Genesis 1:1 is the Jesus of the Gospels. This radically changed my perspective about God and about Jesus. “How could Jesus be the Son of God yet be God Himself?” I wrestled in my thoughts. I accepted the mystery as it is and my view eventually developed into the doctrine of the Trinity.

In the month of September, I had realized that Jesus was to me “someone else’s Savior.” So I “accepted Jesus as my Savior;” I confessed with myself that Jesus is my Savior and Heaven is my home. (I was a “do-it-yourself” kind of person; I didn’t ask how to be converted properly.) Now that I was submitted to Christ, I turned my attention back to baptism.

(I did notice back then that I seemed cold towards God. Jesus didn’t seem to be too enjoyable to me as He seem to others. I figured that it was because I was beginning the Christian life and that my fellow believers were well ahead of me. My metaphor back then was a cross in a fog; I couldn’t see the cross as it is, but as the fog fades, I could make out the shape of the cross and would later see more and more. Also, I saw this lack of desire as the fact Jesus has only conquered the headquarters of my heart and is on His way conquering the rest of it. I believe it was until sometime around 2010-2012 that my desire seem to sprout.)    

Getting myself to ask for baptism was hard; I didn’t like the positive attention that it would give me. But God gave me enough courage to ask Mom in November. She turned me over to Dad and we went to our pastor Elder Mike Rogers. In his study on November 5th, Bro. Mike asked me I believe three questions, one of them was, “Do you believe that Jesus is the only way to heaven?” I answered them all in the affirmative. Then we went home and I wrote a letter of my profession of faith (because I was too timid to stand publicly before the church.) Then that night at our Wednesday night service, we were gathered in the assembly. I remember crying as more members came into the congregation. Then Bro. Mike brought before the church my interest in joining the church; he called me to stand with him at the front, which I did for a second and then went back. Then he read the letter that I wrote; this was my profession:

“I believe in the one true living sovereign God in three persons: Jehovah, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. That he chose us before the world began, created the heavens and the earth in six days, created man on day six (at the same time as dinosaurs). And that Adam rebelled against God and bought sin and death into the creation. And that thousands of years later he sent his son Jesus to save his people from their sins. And that he died on the cross for us and was resurrected from the grave on the third day. 

For this cause I want to be baptized and be a member of this body of believers.” 

With my profession read, Bro. Herman our deacon made a motion accepting my profession of faith. Caleb my friend seconded it. The church decided that Saturday would be the time for my baptism.

On November 8^th, we all went to the YMCA for my baptism. It was set early in the afternoon so that all my family could be there. At their pool, Bro. Mike was my baptizer. He gave a discourse on baptism and then baptized me. I was now a member of the New Covenant and a member of what is now called Grace Covenant Church: a Primitive Baptist Congregation.

Since then, it has been a tough yet rewarding adventure. Following 2009, I struggled with the assurance of my salvation. The Lord brought me through that crisis trusting solely in the perfect righteousness of Christ. In 2010-2011, I struggled with the different perspectives of my parents and my pastors concerning the identity and foundation of the Primitive Baptists. Do we as Primitive Baptists stand by Conditional Time Salvation or do we stand by the 1689 London Baptist Confession? Am I willing to take the logical direction that each one proposes? With thought and prayer, I choose the 1689 LBC position and sought to be faithful to its vision.

What the Lord has in store for me and for all of us, I do not know. I know that He works all things for good for those that love Him. He lacks no delight and can bring joy to us and through us. As much as I have been praised for being faithful, Christ is the Faithful One. He never failed to keep His end of His covenant and I have nowhere in there to even say that I was good.